Fact: Coffee and chocolate originate in the Amazon Rainforest.
The rainforest has always held some magical pull for me, but that simple fact alone was what truly inspired our visit. As a child I watched “Planet Earth – Jungles” too many times. My childhood imagination painted forests full of towering green canopied trees, flocks of rainbow colored birds and cacao and coffee growing everywhere. Every one from National Geographic to my favorite president has journeyed through the Amazon (Turns out that the rainforest was tougher than our Rough Rider president).
Whatever the inspiration, we ended up staying in the rainforest for four days. It was rough. I’ll skip the swampy small port town our plane landed in and get right to the good part.
Day One-
The day before our departure, Leia and I ate at a local restaurant. Due to my below average Spanish/Portuguese skills I managed to order and eat a raw river fish dish (cooked in lime much like ceviche). With the potential for Montezuma’s Revenge in mind, we set out with high spirits on a four to five hour boat trip up the Rio Tambopata to our lodge. Conversation was impossible due the the roar of the motor, but from time to time our guide would stop the boat and point out various flora and fauna.
After a long day of traveling via river, we made it to our destination: a tropical themed jungle lodge, complete with high vaulted ceilings toting reed fans, Amazon artwork, and a bar that opened up to dense green jungle plants. This place made me feel like Teddy Roosevelt dressed up in his safari gear once arm wrestled Indiana Jones amidst a crowd of jeering National Geographic explorers over who bought the next round. So cool.
I’ll admit their clever marketing got me to buy an over priced beer or two.
After settling into our isolated bungalow in the woods and letting Leia apply multiple layers of DEET and sunscreen on me, we returned to the lodge to face the locals at soccer. Team Gringo didn’t even have a chance.
Afterwards, smelling of defeat and dripping with sweat (It was 90 degrees and probably 100% humidity), we launched on our first hike.
The Night Hike.
This primarily involved walking blindly through the rainforest with weak-sauce headlamps and rubber boots, hoping to see something poisonous before it saw us. Leia spent most of the hike bouncing between sheer terror and borderline panic because of all the spiders. To be fair, the spiders are exceptionally poisonous and very large. But the fact is, there are Anacondas out there. And Anacondas are HUGE. No matter how big a spider is, you’ll always be bigger than it. After a few hours of hiking in extreme heat and the deafening chorus of the nocturnal creatures, we hiked back and called it a night.
Day Two-
Three AM rise to go see the macaw clay lick. The boat ride was nearly three more hours up river. We started the boat ride at night, guided by moonlight. Coffee was served (or else there would have been mutiny) and we stopped at the Tambopata Research Center to check out the old National Geographic base for macaw research.
The macaw clay lick itself was amazing. We saw hundreds of birds. First the parrots descended on the lick, then the macaws. We learned that red macaws are prejudice against the blue macaws, which caused much fighting. Macaws mate for life and always fly together. After hours of extremely 
intense ornithology, we left the clay lick for a rainforest hike. The hike involved naming trees and wading through bogs that came up to your knees (Leia’s waist).
This where I faced my fear of snakes.
As we were wading through the rainforest swampy floor, our guide mentioned how Anacondas and various other snakes love this part of the forest. Leia nearly cried the rest of the hike.
That night we went hunting for cayman and were successful in catching a baby. After the cayman hunt we all returned for a drink at the lodge and to experience one of the biggest lighting storms I’ve ever lived through.
Day Three-
Technically our fourth day in the jungle (we stayed in the port for a night) started very early. The rain and lightning was so intense it was impossible to sleep. Thankfully the storm stopped right in time for us to pack up for the trek back. We boated back down the river, hitched a ride to the airport, and boarded our plane exhausted.
The Amazon was an amazing experience. That being said, I’m happy I don’t live there. Four days was plenty.
– Clinton
